“They mean well.” “It’s not like that.” “When you get to know them, they’re really cool.”
No. Sometimes they don’t.
YES, sometimes it really is exactly like that and they aren’t actually that cool after all.
This took me a long time to learn, because I saw people through my own lens. And my lens was genuine, so I assumed theirs was too. My motto was “I don’t have time to move so with people so why would people move so with me?”
I spent years calling people friends simply because I saw them as friends. Heart shaped, rose-coloured glasses, fully on, no prescription needed. When good people in my corner tried to warn me about certain individuals, I’d defend those individuals without blinking. They’re misunderstood. They’re going through something. You just don’t know them like I do.
And then, brapsssss. Under the bus.
The hard truth is that I had to get badly burned to finally see clearly. Not once, twice, nor thrice etc. Way more, because each time, I still found an excuse.
Here’s what I know now: I think I always knew. Somewhere underneath it all, the signs were there. But seeing them would have meant admitting I was wrong about someone, and my ego wasn’t ready for that. So I protected my image of them to protect my image of myself.
That’s the part nobody talks about. Sometimes we don’t actually miss the red flags. We just choose the comfort of being right over the truth of what’s in front of us.
If you’re reading this and something in you shifted, take note and observe. Not with guilt, not with shame. Just sit with it.
Ask yourself who you’ve been defending a little too hard, and why.
The answer might be uncomfortable. But it’ll be yours.
It’s good to be back!
Natasha xx
