I have never been good at slowing down. Ask anyone who knows me, I’m the girl with 71 tabs open (literally my safari right now), a voice note half-recorded, a to-do list that somehow grows while I sleep and a notes app so full my phone and iCloud cry for storage, and a husband who gently guides me to relax when energizer bunny mode kicks in.
But lately, something in me shifted. Quietly, gently, and without much warning.
I’ve been in what can only described as a sacred pause. A season that asked me, no, REQUIRED me to stop performing busyness, actually live in the present and be truly aware of what friendship is. I’ll be honest: it didn’t come naturally. It took some, actually A LOT of convincing and frankly still does.
I’ve been thinking a lot about rest lately, not the “sleep when you’re tired” or “get 3 hours and you can function it’s fine” kind of rest, the deeper kind that restores something in you that glamourised hustle culture quietly drains if you’re not too careful.
You know in Psalm 23 when it says “He makes me lie down in green pastures”. That kind, blissful yet unexpected; not the rest you book an appointment for or pre plan months in advance (type A’s tap in ). The kind where God doesn’t ask. He simply makes your life still so you have no choice but to be just that.
In that stillness, I’ve found myself noticing things I’d been moving way too fast to appreciate. The way the morning light comes through my window at a certain hour. The way a good cup of coffee can feel like a whole prayer. The way I get a surge of joy and adrenaline from lifting weights, the way my husband and I laugh contagiously in the smallest moments. All in all, I notice love in everything.
Gratitude has been coming differently to. Not the rehearsed “I’m thankful for” kind or the “I really should be thankful for this” but the catching-your-breath kind. The kind where you look at your life or the northern range and think, wait ….this is good. This is really, really good.
Needless to say, the past few months were an undoing of self and a resurrection of the girl who had time to just be and appreciate life and true friendships. I’m grateful for the people who check in without needing a reason. For work that still energises me even when I’m tired. For a body and spirit that knows things my mind hasn’t caught up toyet. For faith that holds when I don’t have the strength to hold onto it.
I’m also learning to be grateful for the slowness itself. For the fact that this season didn’t ask me to be productive , it asked me to be present. That’s a different assignment entirely.
If you’re in a quiet season too, that feels less like momentum and more like waiting, I want you to know that something is still happening, even when you can’t see a thing. In the stillness, you are transforming.
Trust it. Honour it. Let it be what it needs to be. One day you will look back and be like “mhmmmm”.
I’ll be sharing more from this season as it unfolds. There are many things I’ve been pottering with that I’m not quite ready to put into words yet, but when the time is right I will. For now, just know that I’m here, I livin’, I’m well, working silently in my happy place and I’m more grateful than I’ve been in a long time.
Love
Natasha
