Ten years ago, I sat in a doctor’s office for a routine monthly check-up ; vitals, blood pressure, the usual. Then came the question that cuts deeper than any medical instrument ever could:
How do you feel?
Most days, that question sends me straight to autopilot. A million thoughts, then a blank, then: “I’m fine.”
Not that day.
That day, I actually answered it. I said what was going well. I said what wasn’t. I named the things I was still quietly battling. And instead of judgment, I got something I didn’t expect a gentle reminder that it’s okay to be depressed. That the feeling itself isn’t the failure. The failure is pretending it isn’t there. One of the officers I spoke with left me with five words I’ve carried ever since:
Be present. Be selfish.
I posted that in 2016 almost as a passing thought, a seed of wisdom worth sharing. But I’m reposting it now because that seed still grows. We live in a world that rewards busyness and punishes stillness, that calls vulnerability weakness and self-care indulgence. Ten years later, we’re arguably worse at answering that question honestly.
So consider this your reminder too. The next time someone asks how you feel, or better yet, the next time you ask yourself ,don’t go blank.
Don’t default to fine.
Be present enough to tell the truth. Be selfish enough to actually do something about it.
