For all the mums out there.
Pregnancy has been glamourised so thoroughly that when reality hits, women are left wondering what’s wrong with them. Nothing is. You were just never shown the full picture.
As little girls, many of us grow up looking forward to the day we’ll be a mummy. Those precious fingers and toes, captivating gurgles and bright eyes. Even the multiple wake ups in the night somehow sound sweet from a distance.
As a woman, social media is filled with the perfectly curated pregnancy and motherhood aesthetic. Everything perfectly in order. Perfect sunrises and sunsets, perfect bumps, cute outfits, social gatherings, gym workouts, all accompanied by a pregnancy glow that can apparently be seen from outer space.
So many women go into this new stage of life expecting nine months of magic. And for some it will be. For others it won’t. But either way, it’s happening, and it is uniquely beautiful to every woman even when you have to look for the beauty in it. If that offends you, this isn’t the post for you, thanks for the view 🖤
Here’s what we don’t talk about enough. A few hours ago you were your whole self, and one test later, she disappears somewhere. We talk about identity crisis in postpartum, but we rarely talk about what pregnancy itself does to you from the inside out.
Can you get her back? Of course. But it is a wild thing to experience, especially when no one ever told you it was coming.
The Social Media Comparison Trap
Then there’s the social media comparison that creeps in at your most vulnerable. Online, mamas are travelling, hitting the gym, looking completely put together. Meanwhile your bedroom looks like a hospital ward and your biggest social outing is the sprint from your bed to the bathroom to vomit for the sixth time that morning.
Comparison can be the death of the spirit, and in such a tender season it helps no one. Find your tribe early and get the reality check. Because one of the greatest gifts of this time is that friendships transform. A community unfolds around you with a depth of understanding you simply cannot put into words.
Everyone promises the second trimester will be better. You sit there, half hopeful, half suspicious, wondering if they’re just saying that to keep you going.
The unsolicited advice flows freely from every direction, “don’t do this, don’t do that” and “just wait till they’re here” somehow becomes the catchphrase people think will bring you comfort.
Meanwhile you’re thinking “at least when they’re here, I can drink water without vomiting.”
Most mean well. Your hormones don’t care.
More Than Morning Sickness: When to Ask for Help
If you are really feeling it, and I mean beyond the typical morning….. let’s be honest, all day sickness, please tell your doctor.
Ignore the “I was just like that” from well-meaning women who probably weren’t vomiting six times an hour. You deserve to be heard and you deserve relief.
For those waiting for it to ease, it will come. Whether through the second trimester or through medication, it comes. Do not sacrifice your wellbeing trying to push through silently. Tell your OB-GYN and get your life back.
I did exactly that and while my regular gym routine looks different now, I still show up every week. I can keep food down. I am present.
And that is enough. Because nobody, nobody, wants a depleted mama.
You Are Doing Great, Mama
If no one told you today, you’ve got this. You really are doing so much better than you think.
Growing a tiny human is no small thing, and the fact that you’re still standing or laying down in bed, still pushing through, still showing up for yourself and baby?
That is strength in its purest form.
You are doing great, mama. I mean that.
